Well, I thought this might be a useful way of keeping my thoughts in order, and might be possibly of some encouragement to others seeking to follow Buddhism.
I've made a commitment to myself to meditate daily. This is day 4. Having read bits and pieces about Buddhism over many years I feel that it's leaders are probably trustworthy- that is truthful, level-headed and expert. So I feel there's a fair chance that the Tibetan ideas on death are true - that we are reincarnated repeatedly over trillions of lifetimes, of which this life is one tiny part, and that some of those lives are literally hellish. If a human rebirth is astoundingly rare, as they say it is, then I must try and use it wisely. I also hope, of course, that meditation may give happiness in this life, too.
This sounds pessimistic, to say the least, I know, but whether we like something or not is surely no indication as to if it is true.
I've meditated before, but I didn't enjoy it - just found it a frustating experience. I've decided now to do it daily for 6 months, and hope that I learn to enjoy it in that time. I'm not good at commitments, but I really mustn't waste this life. I'm hopeful I can keep to it since it's something I trully want.
The first 2 days' meditations were enjoyable mostly, but today's reminded me of why I gave up before. I get into a circle of feeling fed up that I can't focus and then worrying about that which stops me focusing. Well, this is a test of my resolve, and I guess if I could focus on the present moment I wouldn't need to practice meditation! My big fear is that I'll never improve. Still, I'm not alone -out of all the people who try meditation, I wonder what percentage keep doing it regularly? Not many, I'll bet, so it's not an easy thing to embark on.